Tossed To and Fro

Okay, so have your heard the phrase "helicopter mom", this was brought up I think on The View a while ago. I believe it was Joy- I heard this second hand or watched the youtube so I dont know if I have the whole story but this is the basics. Joy termed parents that hover too much helicopter moms. I think they were mostly talking about moms who were overly concerned about safety but still you know they were actually talking about people like ME! I am a helicopter mom. I might be the leader of all the helicopter moms.

I have always assumed something is wrong with me, I am too fearful and too anxious. That is of course part of it but truly it is about so much more than safety. I have always just simply felt the kids should be with us. I didnt dream of leaving children with a someone else so I could grocery shop. I didnt really like children's church because I felt they should be in the service as a family. I dont drop kids off at VBS, I would go in and sit and wait. People made me think I was wrong. In fact they made me feel like an idiot for doing it. So I have tried to stop this. I tried to send my kids to small things and act like it was a victory that I had accomplished it! NO MORE.

So if I take the safety issue- abduction, being hurt, being abused etc.

and add it to the spiritual issue- being led astray, being swayed, being taught things we dont believe it.

It equals KEEP YOUR CHILDREN WITH YOU.

Now I am not telling you to do this.. that is your business. What this post is about is I am tired of convincing other people that it is okay to be this way, or that something is not fundamentally wrong with me.

I dont have to do that. I dont have to feel like I am doing something wrong.

Now let me go back to the spiritual part. Easily half of keeping the kids with me when they were younger was probably fear, a healthy dose of common sense fear mixed with Carrie is an over anxious night mare fear. NOT GOOD. Bad on me for being anxious but dropping off my kids at a park and leaving and not being anxious doesnt exactly make it a wise thing to do? Right? So I had the right attitude of keeping them with me but I allowed fear and anxiety to rule me some and I have to answer for that sin in my life. So I must work on my attitude but that doesnt mean I change what I am doing. It doesnt mean they can suddenly go to Scout camp for a week. I dont believe in it.

I think if you want to let your kids get a taste of scout camping either sign up to be a leader and camp with them OR simply only allow them to go for family camping. I am not going to allow this world- or even my friends for that matter persuade me differently.

here is my proof...

Whoever our children are around will influence them. That is one reason why we are told in Deuteronomy 6:7 to be with our children. "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." If we are with our children we have the opportunity to influence them ourselves and to protect them from unwholesome influences. Because of the preciousness of our children and how easily they are led astray, the Lord is telling us to be with our children.

This is a quote off Titus2 in the Dads Corner . Anyway, the Bible instructs us to keep our children with us so that we can be the one who influences them. Now literally do we have to always walk hand in hand or sleep in the same room. NO. But we are instructed to keep our children with us.

I had a Pastor say once that the reason that his son was not home schooled was because he felt that his son was called to be a light to the public school. I say that is bunk! I say that our children are not called to do that. The Bible talks about children being tossed to and fro. We are told to not be like children in this way. What kindof nightmare waves are you throwing your children to in public school?

I want my children with me, I want to influence them. I want introduce them to the world in the manner my husband and I have decided. I dont want the world thrust on them. Now Dave and I have absolutely NOT done a great job of keeping worldly influences away from them. WE have struggled with this immensely. We have been tossed to and fro!!!! Do you watch Disney movies? Do you not? Do you listen to secular music? Do you not? Do you listen to the news? Do you not???

WHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anybody else need a vacation from all the decision making?

But as much as the world that has been introduced to my children I was still responsible for the decision to introduce them. Does that make sense? I decided based on "X" merit to let them see this movie or that movie. I decided at this age they were ready to hear about "x". It hasnt been decided for me!!! At least rarely anyway, and the times it has was probably one of those times I felt pressured by others to just let me kids be kids, to go our on their own!

Well no more.

We will church as a family- none of this children's church stuff. (Which has been a HUGE hold up in the search for a church!) The church is inundated with children's church programs! I dont mind awanas- although I would probably be in their with them, but you dont have to split up the family for every second of church? Kids can sit and hear a message with our the lights, puppets, spinning prize wheels and play grounds!

We will do classes and activities as a family. I dont mean Kaitlin cant ever go to a class by herself, but we will be very particular and I would be waiting outside. I dont have to drop her off everywhere? Not that it wont ever happen, but Dave and I will be in charge of deciding who is teaching her, who she is with, what is being taught to her. It will not because someone made me feel stupid for not doing something. Just because most of the world does 'X" doesnt make it right for me and my house.

The kids in scouting will not camp without a parent in attendance. Period. If a parent cant go. The kid cant. Now unlike some parents I am willing to work in the group so that I can fulfil, but that is just how I am personally.

Stop telling me that leaving a parent is how a child learns to grow up. It isnt true. Staying with a parent that is teaching and training them is how a child grows up.

Now again... I am not telling you anything. I am telling myself and talking about how I feel personally.

In the e-mails I receive, it often appears that people prefer to "wink" at the
worldliness in others' lives than to risk the possibility of losing their
friendship or appearing to be "holier than thou." This is generally stated in
the context of a parent writing and expressing concern about the influences on
his children from worldly families and friends. Rather than offend a brother by
bringing up worldliness in his life or his family's lives, the parent will allow
his children to be in jeopardy of worldly influences.

I think I do this, I would rather let me my kids do something I truly feel is wrong because some might feel I was holier than thou. Or I have changed my mind over something I felt strongly about because it is normal to do this or that.

Dont get me wrong... I am sure that everyone struggles and God wouldnt have so many verses in the Bible if it wasnt truly a struggle. I dont have to get everything right, but I do have to stick with the convictions I have. If I no longer feel convicted than it is different. Dave and I have changed a few things over the years. We dont feel we are being wishy washy on all those changes, some of them simply have to do with who are children are becoming or the age they are getting too. Or even simply the place in life we are at.