The sounds of playing

I have a very bad memory.  I mean a very bad memory.

It doesn't affect normal every day functions.  I mean I remember appointments and passwords, I remember where things are and phone numbers, I remember (most) peoples birthdays and what to buy at the store.  I don't have a problem with all of that... but something much more personal to me.

My past.  I have a very strange way of remembering the past. 

I see it all through photographs.  I cannot for the life of me recall Kaitlin's grin or SEE Emily doing the "O" face.. in my mind.  I cannot bring those memories up, but what I can bring up is the photograph OF that memory.  This is one reason why photographs are so very, very, very important to me.  I cannot remember my own child hood except through photographs.  I remember a few things here and there, when family starts talking about something it might SPARK a memory... but a lot of times it will bring up a picture I saw of the event!  If I saw a picture of a event I am MUCH more inclined to remember that than the actual event.  I cannot conjure up in my mind what "x" event looked like.. but I can recall the whole photograph.

Does ANYONE else have this problem?  I have never encountered anyone with the same problem.

It makes me sad.  It makes me frustrated when my camera is not working or I don't have one with me.  It makes me think that later on, NO matter how important THIS was to me in this moment... without a picture it will be gone.  It will be as if it did not exist to me.

I don't remember when my kids lost their first teeth.  I don't remember what their first word was.  I don't remember the first time they rolled over... sans a photograph of it. 

But when I look at this picture or that picture, a sea of memories flood over me and I can remember how I felt... sad, glad, happy... I can remember what is going on in the area just outside the picture.  I can remember what was being said or why we took that picture.  I can remember my life!

I am not exaggerating this problem I have... this is my life.  This is how I am forced to live because I cannot find a way to unlock those memories.  I mean I assume they are in my brain- if I can conjure up what happened by the recall of a picture I have seen.. I assume that means the memories are just stored an odd way.

So anyway, connecting my sad woeful tale to my title.  Because I don't remember my kids childhood I don't remember what they were doing. I don't remember how it sounded.  I don't remember their voice or the tilt of their head as they concentrated on something... without pictures.

I know the sound of Emily being a horse.
I know the sound of Kate's drawing pencils clinking in her holder.
I know the sound of the backdoor being closed and KNOW Matt is going outside.
I know the sound  of a DS.
I know the sound of the zipper on Emily's Polly pocket bag.
I know the sounds of my children playing TODAY... what they are doing now.

But not when they were little.  I didn't capture those sounds.  I don't have a memory of it.  I was scared of losing the "picture" scene so I took lots of shots.  But I still don't have the sound.  I mean I remember a few things... mostly from family members recounting the story a bunch of times. 

Kate saying "yion" for lion.  I can hear that in my head.
Kate's feet pounding on the floor of the mobile home, at the window calling Pa's here.

But there is little else.  Just what other family members recount for me. 

So today I know what I am going to be missing... the sound of the clinking, a sea of bricks being swept aside.... looking for the perfect one.... I know that at some point that sound will be gone...I will miss the sounds of my boy playing.  But how will I remember that noise when he stops altogether.  How will I remember the years of him "loudly" looking through Lego boxes.... I wont.

 I have pictures. I know he loved Lego's, the family will say..."Oh yeah, Matt loved Legos, every Christmas and birthday.  Oh remember how bad Lego's hurt to step on...."

But how will I remember the sound?.  How will I remember smiling from the other room when I heard that sound?  How will I recall every time he proudly showed me a build or how he would call me to come see?

I wont.

I wont remember the sounds of a playing. 



This video is a little long, but in ALL seriousness... it made me tear up.  It shows HOW important photos are to people.. every day JOE'S. 

When it looks like this outside...

It rained all day long on Wed.  I mean ALL day long!  We did NOTHING productive for the most part! 

Come inside, out of the rain...

Look what we do when it is raining and we have NOTHING to do all day long...

Play with hamsters...

Um dont really know, but she was busy!

build Lego helicopters and hope mom will upload it to Lego.com

Maybe catch up on dishes... seeing how her MOM has done

 HER chore (dishes) for like the last two weeks!

What do you do when it rains ALL day long???

Chicago!!! July 2010

We left very early the next morning for Sc hamburg, IL. We passed right through Chicago, but oohed and awed over the buildings. We go to the LEGO Discovery Center!!! It ended up being really neat, kind of on the expensive side but we felt at this point of the kids life it was important and as close to a Lego Land as we are getting right now! We had fun and go to see a lot of neat creations and even a factory tour that was kind of neat. There is a cafe and with the children's meal you get a mini figure which is VERY coveted at our house!

After we left Lego Land we headed back to the city. There are about 5 Expressways or tollways going every which way around Chicago it is kind of confusing.  We passed a McDonald's that is smack in the middle of the toll road you can just drive through and get going again!  It was really weird.  We also saw what is called an Oasis, they have there every now and then on the tollways.  It is a huge bridge over the tollways, there is parking on either side that you get to from the tollway, once you get inside it is like a small mall food court.  There is all kids of eating places, a few shops, a playground and gas stations.  It is the coolest thing!  Of course we stopped for a snack!

We got into town without much trouble and to our hotel, it was right on Grand which leads straight to Navy Pier and two blocks off of THE MAGNIFICENT MILE.  We got settled in and left right away for sightseeing.  We took off walking.... forever. We got to Millennium Park and saw the sphere, the lawn, the Boeing walk ways, Chase fountain and tons of other stuff along the way!  We crossed over the river and there were buskers (street performers) everywhere!  There were people everywhere and pedestrians, taxis, honking... it was awesome and exactly as imagined!

We saw the Wrigley building, the 4th Presbyterian church- which is beautiful, The Chicago tribune building and so many other beautiful, beautiful building. You walk along and cannot believe HOW beautiful the architecture is! We only saw the Sears Tower in passing, but it is beautiful! Matt bough a replica Lego set of it.

We got back to the hotel just in time for out reservations at The Weber Grill.  Everything they cook is on a grill... it was on the Food Network.  The food was pretty good, service took forever though!  It was a neat experience though. 

After dinner we headed out to Navy Pier, we hopped on a trolley that would get us there. As soon as we got off the trolley we were at the front entrance of the Pier and it was amazing!  So many people and across the lawn we saw a HUGE macaroni noodle- who could pass up a picture by huge macaroni!

We walked all the way to the end of the Pier, got a few cool shots... we got to see the Stained Glass museum which was really cool.  There was so many and it was free!  We ended up at the rides and Kaitlin, me and Emily went on the Ferris wheel.  We regretted it the whole time but in the end we DID it and I am proud of us!  Emily rode the swings and carousel.  We left to get a snack and souvenir and than started the LONG trek back to the hotel!  The trolleys stop at 8:00!  We figure that we did about 6 miles of walking in the 12 that we were actually in the city touring!  yikes!

Emily enjoyed the first three art works and then she was like um... the rides MOM!

The next morning we set off for some more shopping!  The Lego store- because you never have enough Lego's! The American Girl store-- bigger than Dallas, very cool!  Bloomingdale's- everyone needs a Little Brown Bag once in their life- of course I only got one buying someone else a present!  We saw The DRAKE, which was cool... the flags in front are so classic!  We also went to the Hershey store which was neat and delicious.  We shared a smore treat and a frozen cocoa drink and of course picked up some chocolate!

this fountain had cool balls that shot straight up.. it was one of the coolest fountains I have ever seen!!!

this would be my daughter using the 300.00 dollar- on sale- scarves at Bloomingdale's to cover her cold Bitty Baby American Girl Doll!  Hmmmmm......

We saw The John Hancock building!

We didn't get to Frank Loyd Wrights house- the flooding that caused the dam break in Iowa had left parts of Chicago with some flooded streets and we opted to stay away from the west side of town.  We also did not get pic of Buckingham Fountain, we did drive by and see it though!  It was so beautiful!  I couldn't believe HOW beautiful it was! 

After our shopping we had to experience Chicago Pie so we went to eat pizza, the deep dish variety!  Yummo!

 Then we checked out and headed for home... I was sad to leave after so little time but I was so happy that I got to see all that I did!  Just have to plan to go back!