So Dave and I are working on a few of our conviction lately... some of which came about about after the imfamous Sethsa conference.
Some of those convictions are:
what activities the kids will be involved in
What area's do I need to be involved in
and What areas does the family as a whole need to be involved in.
Now these are really tough choices. for one thing they are fluid (that is not the best choice of words but what I mean is the circumstances change and therefore the answers to the question changes.)
What is right in one stage or season of our lives is different from other stages and seasons! So we try to figure our what each person needs and what we want for each person and plan accordingly. My problem is that I try way to hard to FIT all of us into one mold. For instance Kate is our artist, not really Matt and Emily... so Kate needs to be in an art class not Matt and Emily. So even though it is an activity that Kate should be involved with, it automatically involves the rest of us because of time and money commitments. I have to count the cost!
AHG as a program seems beneficial. I believe that the girls can learn a lot and I am using my skills as a leader and Matt is socializing. But given the ENORMOUS time involved and cost... is it right for our life right now? There are other problems with AHG but I dont feel like discussing them yet.
BSCH... this is a hard one. Before I have done this basically as a service and because I got what I needed out of it. Also there was the tiny issue of no one else stepping up! I dont mean to be selfish about it and I really did pray to meet others needs but it did not feel like a ministry, it felt more like a service. I am more at the point of it feeling like a ministry. Now of course I already talked about our Planning meeting and wondering what course people want to take for the new school year but for me at this point I am looking at it as a service situation--- but as a service TO others. Meaning want to serve them not just fill a particular need. I dont feel as though I made that point very clear but lets move on anyway!
Church... I had a long discussion the other day with someone about churches and why we are or are not currently going. This is a big, huge gray area for me! Number one I really want hubbie to take the lead and he isnt. He will follow my lead anywhere but I want him to take the lead on this topic. So we have tried a number of different churches and none have fit what we believe we need right now and we are still looking, but for instance we were supposed to visit a church on Sunday and hubbie just didnt do it. I do not want to take the kids by myself but I suppose it will come to that. Now dont get me wrong if I got up and had everyone dressed and ready he would get up and be dressed and ready but I do enough parenting...! (btw... Hubbie reads this and knows all this already) So the situation puts us in a situation where there is zero forward movement. Yes we are stagnant! So I guess we need to work on that or I will end up toting kids to church myself! Very frustrating.
Finances... we have come to terms with the bills for the house, meaning we are very capable of meeting and paying those bills. It took a while to make sure how all that would work but I feel confident right now that we can. My problem is not with bills it is with the misc fund! I just plain spend to much on other misc items. Mostly fast food or eating out! I make menu and shop and have food available I just dont seem to be home to cook it or for instance our air conditioning was our some of last week and it was TOO hot to cook here! Now this is a problem I can solve I just have to make that happen! I have to reign in the belt, I have to be more serious with my time and my schedule. I have to be a better planner! I know that I can, I have certainly done it in the past but I just have to jump back on the bandwagon! But all our activities and situations also wreak havoc on our finances. I need to make good decisions so that we have money for art, gymnastic, extra gas for getting to things, field trip, vacation, etc. See how it is all intertwined!
And there are of course many other activities that we have to decide if we will be involved it...
4H
Looking towards courting group
outside Bible study
classes during the school year
extra curricular church classes
sports
volunteer work
play dates
these are just a few examples. I am tired of just joining because. I want a reason, a plan! Not for every single minute or every single activity all the time! But a general route. We are getting to "x" and which of the activities will push us on our way and which ones are just complete detours. Are some of the detours worth it? How often do we change the route? Each persons Map looks a little different but I do not always plan our activities accordingly.
What do you do to decide about being involved in an activity???
3 comments:
Have you read the Mary/Martha book yet?
I have struggled some with this for next school year. I just weigh everything with gut/prayer.
You can't do too many things or the most important things will obviously suffer. I decided to let go of what I felt was drawing away from our original purpose which is homeschooling. I am giving up being a teacher in our local co-op. I am still undecided about whether we will participate at all. I am waiting for peace. If I feel at peace about something after asking God for a sign, then we do it. If not, then we don't. Pray and let the spirit speak to you. He is the comforter and will give you peace if you are making the right choice.
I am guessing that if you are not feeling at peace with the current situation then something about it isn't right. Keep considering different possibilities until something finally clicks and you are at peace.
Girl I hear you and I feel your frustration. It IS all intertwined and activities can wreak all kinds of havoc on your finances as well as the family. I so agree.
I was at a point a few weeks ago where I just sat down for the whole morning and wrote. With paper and pen--all the things I do and need to do and want to do. I listed and ordered and prayed and prioritized.
I feel much better. Keep hashing it out!!!! It almost always ends, for me, in us being home more and involved in less.
This is SUCH a timely topic for me. I am STRUGGLING with this for the coming year. Maybe you can be my mentor on this. Last year I just felt stretched SO THIN. Especially with Brian's schedule rotating. It was a challenge to get our actual school work done, I don't want it to be that way. I want it to be more relaxed...
I have guilt issues with giving things up, especially if I feel like people are counting on me.
This will be our first year to have two out of the three involved in activities. I don't just have one participant and two tagalongs. Now I have Three participants!!!! I can't even imagine how you do with with all three in activities!
I spent the past few days reflecting on last year, and what I want to do differently this year. My main goal is I want to enjoy more and commit less. By commit I mean activities that you are bound to for every single week. I like having the flexible events like field trips and being able to attend, or not based on how our school work is going.
Now, I am absolutely unsure how I will make this happen.... but we will see. We may need to trim down the things we commit to. I might need to chat with you about how you are doing it.
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