Yes I said it.. .the big "B" word.
I want to say that I used to have a problem with this, and I am TRUTHFULLY much, much better but unfortunately I think it is in my nature to take on a lot. For one thing weirdly enough I think I do better with the more I have on my plate- I have had this confirmed by family members who think I do better the busier I am. For another thing I want to help and do... I want to!
So I am talking to myself but I am also addressing what I see, read, and hear.
People are too busy.
We were signing up Kaitlin for volleyball and the practice time she was given was Wed night at 8:00. I of course called the coach to ask if this was the only available time and the reply was.. "as the coach who is volunteering, this is the only time that works for my daughter and I."
HMMMM...now reading into THAT situation I would assume they are too busy. I understand she could be a working parent or have a weird schedule but 8:00 on a Wed night. Needless to say (I hope) we said no to volleyball. After many calls we ended up being able to get her on a different team, they meet on Tuesdays at 7:00 (sigh). Still better than Wed at 8:00. We opted for that one!
During our last season, moms would drop "x" kid off, run to pick up "x" kid and drop by to get a birthday present to take "x" kid to a birthday party, all the while late to pick the first "x" kid up from the game.. that the mom didnt even get to watch.
Sound like fun, no?
In the home schooling world--- it is not always much better... we think of our selves as so HANDS on. But our hands are TOO busy.
Dance, Art, Girl Scouts, AHG, Boy scouts, Piano, class at museum, field trip, co-op, book club, park days, Baseball, soccer, karate, Drama, church activities, charity work, school work- ya forgot about that didnt ya!, Gymnastics, 4H, Civil air patrol...
the list goes on.
We must set up boundaries but also within those boundaries we need to make sure that the activity our kids are involved in OR activities they are involved in meet a criteria.
In Home Educating Family magazine I was reading an article called Too Much To Do, by Rebecca Ingram Powell
a few questions she asked-- which we have all heard but forget.
1. Why are you home schooling?
2 What is your vision for your children and your family?
3. Are the activities in which your kids are involved serving to make those goals a reality?
4. Is the time you are investing worth the benefits you are receiving?
Now I was the ultimate, do everything mom... I was headed down the path of true burnout. IT however was NOT for the reasons you are thinking. I could handle organizing BSCH, I could handle the load of AHG, I could clean my house, I could school my children, I could do a Book club and have my kids each in a sport... I did it for over two years and different heavy schedules before that. BUT... I was heading toward burn out because I wasn't happy.
I had forgotten my vision for home schooling.
I had not lined up our activities with that vision.
I had kept my kids in activities that was either NOT helping them or in some way hurting them (Not physically but other ways)
I was spending time doing all the things FOR NAUGHT.
The time I was spending was senseless. It was NOT accomplishing what I wanted to accomplish.
SO I QUIT.
I re prioritized.
I re aligned what we are doing with our vision. It is not perfect, I still have some tweaking to do... I am working on it. But it is much, much better. I am happier. I am not perfectly happy.. but I know that things are better.
Not only are the activities we are doing more in line with what we want but I also have time to INCLUDE the things we want...
Church---In the past years we have gone to churches, but only been slightly involved. WE are very involved right now and that takes TIME. In fact I am slightly overwhelmed just adjusting myself to weekly church 3 or 4 times a week, which is how we want it but it is just different!
Service--- I thought I would get this from AHG or Boy scouts- but it was NOT happening. So we are doing what we want for our family. I did not have time for this before but spent a lot of time on stuff I didnt truly care about. I am not judging the groups, or by ANY means the program I am just talking about MY family.
Family time--- I just want to BE with my family. Sometimes this time gets lost in the shuffle of DOING something. For instance- I understand that everyone needs to play a part- do a job, or contribute. BUT both my girls were in Scouts for 3 years and NOT once did I get to sit and enjoy their accomplishments at a ceremony- I was moving, doing, cleaning, in charge, planning etc. I would run around like a chicken with my head cut off.
TRUTH- I love that, I do.
TRUTH- after it was over and I was at home and it was quiet. I would think to myself.. I missed it. I just missed it. I didnt get to see Emily turn and scan the audience for my face when she received her award. I didn't get to stand and wait for Kaitlin to rush up to me afterwards and show me each patch... I just missed it. All those moments I cant get back... I was too busy.
I wish we would all sit back, take a moment, pray, think, plan and re prioritize our life.
I think we would be happier.