Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Fear vs. need for concern...

So I have been stepping out in faith lately.  I have allowed the kids to be out of my sight.  :0)

You think I jest.  But really I have an issue with this.

There are two parts.

Part 1: Dave and I truly believe that the "family" should remain in tact for the most time.  We do not desire to be away from our children for long lengths of time or actually much time at all! We do occasionally go on a date, we have left them over night at family members but generally we desire and YES enjoy having the kids with us in whatever we are doing.

Part 2: I deal with fear.  I deal with anxiety.  I deal with worry.  THIS IS NOT GODLY.  I am NOT putting my trust in God.  I don't mean I should put them in dangerous situation and just Hope or Assume that God will protect them (which He can but I have no business putting them in dangerous situations!)  I just mean there are some inevitable situations where our kids ARE going to be out of our sight!  Sometimes it is good for them to gain some Independence-- although I believe that this is ONLY necessary as they get older and in very small doses and situations and should be handled with care!  Now I struggle with HOW MUCH, WHEN, WHERE etc... and part of this is just normal struggle to try to make the right decision but A LOT of this is my fear issue.

I think we need to have a certain amount of concern--- without sin.
 A certain amount of wary---- without sin.
 A certain amount or question--- without sin.

We can do this and keep our kids safe without the sin or mistake of NOT trusting God, needing control, assuming we have more care for them than God or thinking we can stop things from happening simply because we are with them!

I just need to find my balance.  I need to apply God's standard and pray and conclude what situation are okay, what is not and how I know!

A few weeks ago I allowed Emily to go with my friend Becky (shout out to Becky).  It was the first time Emily has gone with anyone out side of family members anywhere.  They went to the Children's Museum and had a fabulous time!  She had fun, she was well taken care of, she was safe... all was good.

I learned MUCH more through the experience than she did!!!

She is by the way 8.  :0)

None of my kids have ever really GONE places without me.  THIS IS NOT all because of fear remember..... but I can tell you which situation are fear and which aren't.
The first time I sent Kaitlin and Matthew to VBS.  I knew the teacher, I knew the church.  BUT I was hysterical leaving them. I cried, carried on!  I was so fearful and so scared.. I stayed in the church, made it to staying in the parking lot by Thursday.


Could something bad happen to them at VBS.. yes.  But I cannot live in this fear bubble!  I can not control. 

I have to be able to let go.  I can do it in very small doses... but it is VERY hard!  I generally KNOW when it is my fear taking and when I am just having a generalized concern all parents might feel! 

How do you handle allowing your children to grow up, yet still shielding them???

These are taken from The Amplified-- not my favorite translation but nice every once in a while...

The Lord is my Light and my Salvation--whom shall I fear or dread? The Lord is the Refuge and Stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27: 1

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control. 2 Timothy 1: 7

So we take comfort and are encouraged and confidently and boldly say, The Lord is my Helper; I will not be seized with alarm [I will not fear or dread or be terrified]. What can man do to me? Hebrews 13: 6

1 comment:

Mommy of Two said...

I was reading this and trying to think of when our kids have done anything without us- yes. Outside of family-once and it actually made me really nervous. Our friend watches the kids every once in awhile. I completely trust her but this was the one time she actually took them somewhere. Granted it was a park right down the road but it made me nervous. Multiple kids, could have lost them, I felt odd for it but I let her do it. I met them at the park after class and they were having a blast. Not so sure I'm ready for that again though. Odd feeling!