Struggle....

I get tired of the everyday struggle.

money.
cleaning.
school.
kids.
husband.
schedule.
routine.


So what to do?  What to do?

Money-- I cut out everything I could (actually everything I wanted, we could cut MORE but are good with what we cut for now.)  We are keeping the air at 78 degrees, which for us is a big deal.  We are turning off lights, trying to wash at un peak times, using the toaster over etc.  Of course just general cutting back in every area.

Cleaning-- part of my cleaning problems lies with I have been out and about a lot lately so things piled up.  So the easy change is simply staying home, we all know this is not always going to happen so that is where daily chores and routines step in.  FAIL.  I have offically decided to nix all chores for a while.  The chore charts I have are not working for me, just like all of the other ones didnt work for me!  So I shall simply make a list of what should be done and we will do until it is done.  In order to keep it "fair", I will put the list up each morning and the kids will take turns picking thier most desired chore first.  So no one should get "stuck" with the worst chore every day.  Emily will have the same pick as the other kids-- if it is a chore I deem her not able on her own I will simply help her on that day.

This will accomplish many things:

number one: all three kids will be well rounded in ALL chores.
number two: no child will "FEEL" they have gotten the short end of the stick all the time
number three:  I will be able to access where the kids are in their abilities so when I DO choose another chore system (because I can't help myself) I will hand out assignments accordingly
number four: there will be no set time frame to this.. I will say go do and they will do.  We will simply get things done as they need to be done. 

My kids do NOT generally gripe about chores-- in fact they pretty much do them with out complaint... it is the REMINDING them to do it that has my goat!  I want them to be responsible on their own, but it is just simply not working for me right now!  So I will just "nicely" bark orders.  Everything will get done, I won't feel resentment or frustration--- and furthermore take the resentment and frustration out on the kids.  So that is the plan for now!  I shall update you when it changes!


School-- I have been only mildly frustrated with school this year.  I remember being MUCH more frustrated last year.  I do feel we have not done as much as we could BUT I think maybe I set my standards too high and I don't always account for the "we do more on one day than another" system we seem to use in my house.  So if I SIMPLY let that go and move on my evaluation of this year was actually pretty darn good.  The other part of my frustration comes more from the curriculum chosen.  I already gave you my picks for next year-- they will only change slightly- and I think some of the  changes will help.

The other aspect is more individual schooling.  I am unsure how SCHEDULE wise that will work out but I am going to simply have to make it happen.  I am going to write out things I specifically want EACH child to grow and work on this coming year... and hope to see great improvements in those areas by this time next year!

I often get frustrated with time-- I want it to happen NOW.  But Biblically I am reminded of SO much sowing and reaping mentality... so much planting and harvesting... those things took time.  Some changes, some evolvement, some growing TAKES time.  I shouldnt be in such a hurry to assume NO change means it is not working-- I need to be patient.
Kids-- I have already adressed some things with the kids as part of my frustration and my plans to work on certain areas in their individual lives over this next year.  So the only thing I will add to this area is actually about each child individually.  I really need to find ways to help EACH child grow.  I feel we do so much together which I want, and desire and feel is biblical-- but sometimes I think I miss the individual kids needs sometimes too.  So I am working on that.
Husband-- hubbie knows what our frustrations are right now and I know each of you have gone through seasons with your spouses!  It is on both our parts and something we simply have to work on individually and together. I have often said in the past that I want to make time for us more and then I fail to do so.  I plan on really trying to make that time happen.  I also want to say that we are hitting 14 years, there are many things I would do differently given the chance but I wouldnt CHANGE my life with him at all.  I just might tweak it!  :0)  I love him more than I did when we got married.  I hate being a part from him.  I just know there are areas we could and should work on ... as does he.  Hopefully this will be the year!  Also trying to remember the whole time and patience thing!

Schedule and Routine I will lump together-- I always try and fail in this area.  I assure you it is partly becasue it is not how and I am wired and partly because I have very little will power-- which falls into many other areas of my life.  I don't yet have a plan for this other than MAKING ANOTHER PLAN... so we shall see.  I do know that I desire it... but that is not enough.  I do know that I do better when it is in play, as do the kids!  So  I guess I should just DO IT!  :0)