Choice to be joyful...

I understand fully that it is my choice to be joyful.

My choice.

Why oh why is the choice so difficult. Why does it seem easier for some people to make lemonade from lemons than me? I call that choosing joy. I think not being pessimistic is choosing joy. I think laughing at something your child says instead of feeling indignation is choosing joy??? Is it? Is that the same thing? Yes I think sometimes it has to be. I feel that sometimes when the kids say something---even if it seems disrespectful, we should just laugh. I mean we should break the tension, have a good chuckle but of course calmly explain to the child that while this is funny it is also not the best choice of things to say.

I talked with a few friends about raising children and the fact I was learning the lesson of grace in parenting. I have such a hard time with this. I am kindof an all or nothin girl. A rule follower...if you do x, you get x. Why should sometimes they get in trouble and sometimes they see grace? How do you choose? I just know that I want to parent that way, but find it hard to know when I should.

So all this ties in together...I choose joy.

I choose sometimes to simply laugh.
I choose sometimes to discipline.
I choose sometimes to simply use the moment to teach.

I just pray that I will make the right choice with each situation.

How do you parent???

a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day...

I do not know what was wrong today, I know it was equally me and equally the kids though. I yelled the entire school time. I just yelled. I was not angry downstairs, I had a nice lunch and was full. I wasnt generally frustrated or upset, in fact I felt I was slightly cheery. Until we came upstairs.

The second I hit the second floor I could feel it inside of me! The hall was a mess. The kids complained about having to do school (read school like it is the one thing on earth you cant stand!). The school table was not as I left it and that meant I had to find things. The kids brought stuff to the table that wasnt school which meant I had to start the school time with telling them to PUT IT AWAY. On my part, I am trying to use the Homeschool Tracker and you have to set up all these templates, well I didnt do it over the weekend when I should have so I was frustrated with myself. But honestly it was mostly the kids. They just kept doing things we have talked about a 1000 times. Yes I know they were being kids! But I am so tired, I just wish every once in a while they would do NEW things wrong. I mean why the same thing over and over? Be CREATIVE with your disobedience.

Okay sorta flippant there if ya didnt catch on I am not in a good place. I am not blaming this on my diet, I am blaming this on my obvious inability to discipline my children. Something is just not clicking. I dont know what to do but I am tired of yelling, I am tired of feeling like I am yelling, I am tired of repeating myself a million times and I am tired of feeling like such a bad person. I dont want to yell and I am sorry afterward but gee wiz! What's a girl to do!

Of course I just got on to Emily for yelling at Kaitlin, I told her she need to not yell and deal with it differently.

Wow...Kettle. Black. ?????

Okay, so regardless of the kids I yelled and I am responsible for MY reaction. I will pray and do better tomorrow.

Because tomorrow is another day.

Out of the mouth of babes...

So Emily had bag with her stuff in it from a visit with her grandparents. She had it around her neck and this is the conversation...

Dave: Take the bag off your neck, and can I please see it.
Emily: It is my bag.
Dave: I know but there is something of mine and mommies in the bag I need to get out.
Emily: No. It is my stuff.
Dave: Emily hand me the bag so I can get my stuff out.
Emly: No, its my bag.
(scuffle, grabbing for the bag....)
Dave: Emily you need to go upstairs. You cannot act this way.
Emily:(screaming) but its my bag.
Dave: I know but I just wanted to get something out of it and you arent going to act this way.
Emily: I wish I'd never had you.

Laughter errupts.

The agony of relationships...

Who would have thought as a teenager that relationships wouldnt get easier? I mean didnt you think there could be no place on earth or below it that is as bad as ....junior high? I sure did. It.was.agony. I hated it. I finally got to high school and to be honest it wasnt much better. Girls at that age well they suck! and boys well they make better friends but there is the "attraction" thing. Like why can't we just be friends with a boy??? Anyway, middle of tenth grade I packed up my locker, went downstairs to my moms car and told her I was not going back.

I didnt.

Unfortunely I still went to church with all these people so it wasnt like I didnt have to deal with the relationship issue anymore, I did. This problem was slightly compounded by the fact that I missed all the inside stuff. But oh, well, I was satisfied. I eventually started dating my dh and than marriage, babies, etc! I didnt worry about relationships for a while.

So I am now in a place where I feel pretty good about the relationships I have. I have a few really good friends, a lot of people that I love and care about, and people that I deal with and am on friendly terms with. Just the other day I had a friend tell me about a friend problem. So and so was mad or upset at so and so and blah, blah, blah.... I didnt think anything of it at the time but seriously I just didnt realize I would still be doing "this" at my age.

It just occured to me that the people that did this in junior high are now still doing it as grown ups? Some people dont change??? Some people havent matured in their relationships or keep making the same mistake over and over, never learning the lesson.

What relationship lesson have you learned as a grownup?

I am learning one of my greatest lessons which is give the opinion when they ask for it and tread VERY lightly.....be sensitive.

I am a work in progress, but isnt progress the point. Its the journey not destination and all that. I guess I just wish more grownups were on the journey.

Fitness Friday

Okay, a quick recap of how my week went....

To be completely honest, I have to say it was probably my best first week of a diet I have ever had. I had gone to the grocery store, which right off the top is a life saver! I had put down on paper a number of meals I could eat, which right off the top saved me from PANIC. I had determined my *rules* so right off the top I had no excuses! I had let my family know so right off the top I had support. I had posted it on a blog so right off the top I had NO WAY OF BACKING OUT. I mean this isn't just a blog where people are random, I know most of the people who read my blog...they see me! I have to shrink or heads will roll! No really I think it was a good week, I ate all the right foods, in all the right amounts and big drum roll..... I didnt even have a diet coke every day and when I did have one I had...ONE! I am so proud of myself!

My goals were 15 carbs per meal basically which I pretty much stuck to unless the carb was a fruit and actually God made it to go in my body! I had another goal of drinking water which didnt go that great but I sure drank a whole heck of a lot more than usual and less DIET coke! I had another goal of no dessert which surprisingly went fine. I WAS fine! I didnt die without dessert! Yeah. MY last goal was to excersise which did not happen as much as it should have but I am working on it!

So all in all I think I did great!

I am doing a Mr. Linky thing with Brenda at the Family Revised! We are braving the losing weight thing together! So our topic for Fitness Friday is....

I cant wait till.......................

I can walk into ANY store and look at an item of clothing that I could choose to try on!
I can not worry about signing up for the Women of Faith Conference for fear I wont fit in the chairs at the Toyota Center!
I can look at food without it being so important to me!
I can fit into a lower size, at this point one size at a time!
I can walk up a flight of stairs without practically have a seizure (well I dont right now but it is hard!!!!!!!)
I can just plain feel better......

Two bugs...

I think I got a bug, well two actually, one that no one else wants and the other that actually no one else wants!

The first bug, I dont know where I got it and I hope not to pass it on! The second bug I got from Brenda at The Family Revised , she posted a few days ago about passing on a very bad habit to one of her daughters... it was rearranging! I know really bad habit! My husband hates it but I havent done it for a while, well not since the school room a month and a half ago anyway! But today during the course of my bugs I spent time in the restroom and my own room! There isnt much room in my room so rearranging is minimal but I moved the bed. DH probably will not like it but we will find out in about an hour and 12 minutes assuming he is home on time! We are no longer facing the TV. So I am hoping we will watch less of it because we have to turn to watch it... I will let you know how that works, I dont have much hope for it! I cleaned out drawers and my closet. I have a pile of dirty clothes, a pile of garage sale, a very large bag full of trash and a very good idea of how few clothes my hubbie and I really do own!
We shall work on that, but I will wait for a while! hint hint, hoping to drop some pounds!

So the first thing you see when you walk in my room is the bed which I plan to start making EVERYDAY! But it's ugly! I guess I need a bed ruffle? If anyone has any tips on making it stay on please pass it on! I would like to put my pictures on the wall but dont want to bother painting. I know I should but, yuck, I hate painting. I will try to work up to just doing it!

So anyway, I hope I don't pass either bug on but if your room needs a change than I hope you catch the rearranging one!

A relaxed walk...

A few days ago we spontaneously went to the park---if you know me at all that's a big deal! Anyway, we had a lot of fun, the kids ran, picked up sticks, threw stuff in the water, breathed fresh air, and got all dirty!!!! All in all a good day at the park! I walked (trailed after the kids) for 3 quarters of a mile. Which if you know me at all that's a big deal!

A weird product review...

I decided that I would look on the internet and find some weird products that I would review and put on my blog! So I found one. I ordered it and it got here the day before Ike! So I have had this for a while but we just used the product last night. It is... drumroll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Fizz....

IT is a RootBeer Float on the Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is the thought behind this not ingenious???

The straw somehow acts as a sucker upper (NOT the technical term, I am sure!)

So you screw your 20 oz drink of choice onto the bottom and put your cup of icecream on top, and you have an on the go float!

Kaitlin really enjoyed it!

On a product review note, the cups are expensive, 10 dollars for 6, they are reusable although unsure of how many uses they will last through. You really need to follow the directions of putting the lid on first before you screw it all down or the beverage can come out although not much. Also, the icecream needs to be a little soft or it is hard to get it into the cup. But all in all a pretty good product, I will wait and see if it hits the shelfs! Patent Pending...

Monday, Monday...and all that's gone on

There are reasons there are so many songs about this day! Why no songs about Tuesday? Well because Tuesday is just not as hard as Monday? I used to like Mondays- fresh starts, new beginnings and all that but now Mondays feel like a drudgery- the beginning of yet ANOTHER new week. Yes I know my attitude stinks. Okay changing my attitude. It is a beautiful day, it feels awesome outside and yet we are sitting in the school room doing math, etc and spelling test! Why oh why are we not outside! Well I will tell you why, because on all the other not so beautiful days I wasnt in the school room so now on this beautiful day I AM! Serves me right! I am at least opening the window so the fresh air can pour down on us!

We are doing the verse...

And he will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

I downloaded the song Emmanuel from ITunes, you know the one Amy Grant did way back in the good ol' days of Amy Grant! The kids really like and we have listened to it each morning along with working on our verse and doing our Bible lesson. I like doing our Bible this way, we have a short story, a few questions, scripture memory verse and it feels peaceful and not overdone! I do have some fun sheets to do as we get more into the stories but for now we are just doing simple and it feels right.

Kate was doing her math this morning, it was a section that I didnt have time to "teach" her the other day so we skipped it and are going back. It is word problems, which are especially hard for her. She always has trouble figuring out what do, is it add or subtract or multiply? So we are crossing out unneccesary information in the word sentence and circling clue words. We will see if this helps! i will keep you posted.

Emily is giving me reason to bang my head against the wall! The phonics thing is killing me... I know TIME! Seriously I know, I just mistakenly thought that maybe this would be the child who I didnt have this problem with. I just thought she would breeze through it. The problem is that I really still do think she can breeze through it and she is only being difficult. She is just that child! But I know time...

Matt is doing great in math. He can do all the 'thinkin' just fine, he understand the concepts, no problem! I jsut cannot read his writin' for the life of me sometimes! This is so frustating. I know I could have a worse problem but it is very frustrating. If I make him rewrite it he just gets mad because it is right and that frustrates him. So who deserves to be frustrated??? Me or him????

We went and saw FireProof last night. Its content was amazing and I could have replayed a number of scenes for many instances in our marriage. It was good but piercing if you know what I mean. So anyway, I do lots of nice things for my husband but that doesnt mean i always do them in the right spirit? Anybody ever do that??? So I have purposed (yes dh I know you are reading this) to pay attention to the attitude in which the kind act is given so that it truly is KINDNESS! You wouldnt think that would be so hard but sometimes it is. My youth pastor always used to say...If you dont feel like reading your Bible, than read it until you do!!! So I dont always feel like being kind but I will do things until I do feel like being kind. But in my case I am going to basically just work on actually FEELING KIND. So how was that for honestly on the blog front!

So Kate has art today, I have meaning to post her drawing of an eye for a while now but have never gotten to it so here it is..

I am personally very impressed by it!

We are starting History today. Yes I know I was supposed to start WEEKS ago but give me a break I am starting now! YEAH. The kids are sooooooo excited. They love history! We are doing The Story of the World 3. We will go from Charles V all the way to the Califonia gold rush. That is a LOT of histry! I am excited about this year though, I am hoping to retain much more than we did last year! I plan to focus on the hands on that my kids learn so much through. I dont care if this year takes us two years we will get through it all the way I want to! We have plenty of time to go through it again! I am going to NOT stress about history.

So in two weeks we are having a garage sale. I really, really want to get rid of some stuff! So I am going through every drawer and bucket! I dont care so much about making money off a garage sale although that would be a wonderful bonus, I care about getting rid of STUFF!

I guess you could call this post a personal update!

To weigh or not to weigh...

Okay do you believe in weighing yourself? I have a friend who weighs herself every morning, another who weighs every once in a while and one who never weighs herself. I have decided I am really not a person who likes to weigh. I do weigh WAY to much but I dont think it has to do with this. I just think I like to see weight loss results through how my clothes fit! So why are some people bothered by the numbers but otheres not? I mean personally I do not understand society at larges preoccupation by "the number". There are just so many variable, so many factors that make that number mean nothing? Your height, your bone structure, your family history, your age! The number should not mean anything to us. If you are healthy, if you feel good, if you fit into the clothing you want to and like how you look...why the number thing.

I went on a diet a few years ago and lost weight like nothing! It was hard but I lost the weight easily if that makes sense? In like less than 15 weeks I had lost over 40 lbs. I looked really great. Now I am MUCH heavier than I was at the beginning of that diet. I am the absolutely heaviest I have ever been. So now is the time. But I am not going to measure, I am not going to weight. I will let the pictures tell the truth. I am not posting the pictures right now, I might post them as I see progress and feel a little better about myself.

I ate a pint of Rocky Road Icecream last and as I finished it I told my dh okay this is it for 6 weeks. I say 6 weeks because I have to do this in parts. I KNOW I can get through 6 weeks so I will just do this 6 weeks at a time.

MY Goal is simply lose a clothes size or possible two for now.
My Way is simply EAT LESS

I will Eat Way less! I will watch my carbs. no more than 45 a day for the most part
I will eat no desserts, even diet ones for the 1st 6 weeks.
I will eat nothing fried.
I will drink two large classes of OO-Long tea (green tea has a natural appetite suppressant)
I will drink large quantities of water starting with a minimum of 8- 8oz glasses a day. I am also not allowing my self a diet coke until my 8 cup water quota is met.
I will make sure to meet my calorie number for the day- this is sometimes hard to do if you are eating right!
I will excersie ( but this is loosely meaning I will get up off my butt and do something not speficially walk x amount of time or so many times of the week or lift weights?
I will, I will, I will.

I have to give myself very stringent rules, I am a rule follower so this helps me personally to write down what I will and will not do.

I will link with Brenda on Friday. I will not mention this diet thing except on Fitness Fridays so dont worry about the blog becoming ALL ABOUT MY EATING HABITS!

I am so sorry but I had to post it!!!!!

Someone had some SERIOUS time on their hands!

So think of the song Ice, Ice Baby when you read this!!!

Yo, Texas , Let's kick it!

Ike Ike Baby, Ike Ike Baby

All right
stop, evacuate and listen
Ike is here with some big ambition
People,
close your homes up tightly
It's blowing like a hurricane daily and nightly
Where will it stop? Yo-I don't know
Turn off the lights and let's go
To the coastline Ike rocks like a vandal
Start up the car and watch me
drive like an animal

Dang, hardware store sales boom
Ike's killing
my plans like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly, evacuate they tell me
Anyone
left will be charged with a felony
Love it or hate it, you better
get away
Ike will hit the bull's eye, the storm don't play
If you're on
vacation, Yo, Ike stalled it
Check out the eye while the bands revolve it

Hurricane Ike Ike Baby, Hurricane Ike Ike Baby
Hurricane Ike Ike
Baby, Hurricane Ike Ike Baby

Now that the people are jumpin'
With
their stuff packed up and the gas done pumpin'
Quick to the road, to the
road no fakin'
Pass McD's get a burg er with bacon
Burnin' 'em and
follow the symbol
I go crazy when I hear some imbecile
Revving, in a
souped up Pinto
Now I can roll, it's time to crack the window
Rollin' in
my Chevy Tahoe
With my window down, I can feel Ike blow
My laptop's on
standby, Waiting for some Wi-fi
This spot hot? No - and I gotta fly
Kept
on pursuing to the next block
I busted a left and I'm beating the clock
The light was red

Yo -- so I continued to I-37 to San Antonio
Wish I was there in a blink like a jeanie
How I'd love to be sippin' a
martini
Jealous 'cause my girl's living fine
She left yesterday and was
there by nine
Ready to give my homies a call
My homies acting ill
because their car just stalled
Humidity, the air is sticky as hell
Ike's
on his way, the weatherman yells
Moving toward the gulf coast real fast
I'm in my car, can't give it no gas
Bumper to bumper the interstate's
packed
I'm trying to get away before Ike attacks
Police on the scene,
what can it mean?
They hooked me up, now there's another lane free
If
you're on vacation, Yo, Ike stalled it
Check out the eye, while the bands
revolve it

Hurricane Ike Ike Baby, Hurricane Ike Ike Baby
Hurricane
Ike Ike Baby, Hurricane Ike Ike Baby

Yo man, let's get out of here! Word
to your mother!

Author UNKNOWN but surely credit is due!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lesson plans...am I equipped???

Okay, Brenda @ The Family Revised posted about lesson plans. I started typing in all sorts of question and decided this is a post for me! Now Brenda was a teacher... I mean a "real" public school teacher. She was a teacher who went to school and was taught all sorts of 'tricks' for teaching young uns! I am jealous of those moms who home school their children and have all this schooling! I know that it doesnt always help them, I understand that I dont believe the public school system works, I know that Brenda still struggles with her children and schooling! So why am I jealous??? I dont know, I just am so the secret is out!


I always question myself. I question the curriculum choice, I question the method, I question my sanity for thinking this is okay. I question every aspect of home schooling! Why, you ask, why would such a big mouth proponent of home schooling question it? Because I do not believe in myself or my abilities. I am just not that smart.



I talked to my sister this morning and she doesnt feel at all jealous of these people.

My sister feels the opposite of me, she feels like it might work against a teacher to become a home schooler, she feels like they have to throw the majority of what they learned out the window. She feels like there might be aspects that are useful but for the most part it wouldnt be overly helpful.


God doesnt call the equipped he equips you??? So just because these teachers are equipped to teach a class full of children does not mean they are equipped to teach their own? Or does it mean since I am not equipped He will equip me? O does it mean He will equip each of us for what we need equipping for??? I go with number three. He just equips each of us for what we need equipping for. So why all the questioning and fear???



I was reading the newest Lori Wick book. It is called Jessie and is pretty good. There is a part where one of the characters is possible miscarrying and the husband is going to get the doctor. He had taken his son with him to get the doctor. Later he was recounting the story to his congregation and his sermon went something like this... I wasnt exactly hurrying but I did want to get to the doctor quickly and the longer it took to get there the more panic I began to feel inside. But my son was in my arms and I had a thought... my son does not have any fear. My son is just as happy as he can be in my arms, he has NO fear that I will drop him. It probably wouldnt even occur to him that I would drop him. So why would I think any less of my Heavenly Father? He has no intention of dropping me, so I do not need to fear. He is holding me. I am safe....



I really liked this analogy. I mean what business do I have questioning my Heavenly Father. He has called me to home school. He WILL EQUIP me. He will not equip me to teach a school full of children. He will not equip me to make lesson plans in a particular method. He will not equip me to preform brain surgery in my spare time. WHY??? Because He does not need to. He called me to school my children, and to be a wife and home maker. HE is equipping me for that job.



I know this post went in circles but I really worked something out and that is what is important.



What do you fear that you shouldnt? In what way is God equipping you???

Wordless Wednesday...

Carrie in a recovering TEXAS

I am awarding a blog award...

I am awarding this Best Post Award to Texan Mama @ Who Put Me in Charge of These People, she wrote a post on grocery cart etiquette! It is hilarious and so totally true! I have major problems with the whole grocery cart situation! Don't get me started on improper merging! So anyway, go check out her post!

Update...

Well we got more done last week than you would have thought.
We got a fair amount done yesterday but not so much today! But anyway, here is our week in review!





We are memorizing Psalms 23

Kaitlins math
Emily's math
Matt is doing really good, I actually moved him up a

a few lessons in math because I felt like his work was
just to easy I am still having him review the addition facts

This is our George Washington Lapbook,

we will do one for each president.

We are reading, actually listening via Librivox

to Robinson Crusoe. The kids are writing a journal or

a record of sorts. They are picking something out

of a chapter and drawing a picture of it. We will make

a book out of it later.

We started our Latin. To be honest I meant

to start it weeks ago! I was scared of it. I have

very little faith that I can do it and not getting much

encouragement so I just kept putting it off. But we

started and we will keep going. I will do all I can!!!!

We also played RushHour today, we picked

up an add on pack and Barnes and Noble and

decided to play. All the kids do really well with it!

A joke for you...

Q: How does a homeschooler change a light bulb?

A: First, mom checks three books on electricity out of the library, then the kids make models of
light bulbs, read a biography of Thomas Edison and do a skit based on his life. Next, everyone studies the history of lighting methods, wrapping up with dipping their own candles. Next, everyone takes a trip to the store where they compare types of light bulbs as well as prices and figure out how much change they'll get if they buy two bulbs for $1.99 and pay with a five dollar bill. On the way home, a discussion develops over the history of money and also Abraham Lincoln, as his picture is on the five dollar bill. Finally, after building a homemade ladder out of branches dragged from the woods, the light bulb is installed. And there is light. ~Author Unknown