The second I hit the second floor I could feel it inside of me! The hall was a mess. The kids complained about having to do school (read school like it is the one thing on earth you cant stand!). The school table was not as I left it and that meant I had to find things. The kids brought stuff to the table that wasnt school which meant I had to start the school time with telling them to PUT IT AWAY. On my part, I am trying to use the Homeschool Tracker and you have to set up all these templates, well I didnt do it over the weekend when I should have so I was frustrated with myself. But honestly it was mostly the kids. They just kept doing things we have talked about a 1000 times. Yes I know they were being kids! But I am so tired, I just wish every once in a while they would do NEW things wrong. I mean why the same thing over and over? Be CREATIVE with your disobedience.
Okay sorta flippant there if ya didnt catch on I am not in a good place. I am not blaming this on my diet, I am blaming this on my obvious inability to discipline my children. Something is just not clicking. I dont know what to do but I am tired of yelling, I am tired of feeling like I am yelling, I am tired of repeating myself a million times and I am tired of feeling like such a bad person. I dont want to yell and I am sorry afterward but gee wiz! What's a girl to do!
Of course I just got on to Emily for yelling at Kaitlin, I told her she need to not yell and deal with it differently.
Wow...Kettle. Black. ?????
Okay, so regardless of the kids I yelled and I am responsible for MY reaction. I will pray and do better tomorrow.
Because tomorrow is another day.
3 comments:
You're so right, tomorrow IS another day. But I still appreciate your honesty here!
I love the line, "be creative with your disobedience!" Love it. Yes, come up with something new!
Then you wouldn't have to feel like you're living Ground Hog Day the movie, experiencing the same day over and over and over....
:)
I hope tomorrow is better,
Heather
Carrie, I SO know how you feel. Lately, I feel like I am getting further and further away from my son. He used to be kind and respectful towards me, and if he wasn't and it was brought to his attention, he felt ashamed. Now he just feels indignation. Or indifference. I don't know where that's coming from. But it's weird how I can just see the future of what's coming down the pike: 8 years from now I'll be yelling "Get back here mister! i'm not done talking to you!" and he'll say "Well, I'm done talking to you!" and storm out. I want to fix things now but I am doing a pretty crappy job.
I wish they could be creative with their disobedience!!! YES!!! That was a great line!
I don't know--I think you need to take the frustrations to your hubby. Sometimes they have an idea you haven't thought of yet.
And Texan Mama is right--it's a relationship more than anything else. You opposed to the Pearls? Their stuff sure has helped around here!
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