Thursday, December 18, 2008

my own point of view...

Okay, so every single person has their own point of view! I mean we all see things differently! What I dont get is how we are supposed to meld those points of view. I mean the quote, "Live and Let Live" really how does that even work? If I think one thing and you think something else how are we supposed to get along? I have read loads of posts this holiday season... you have the moms who go all out, you have the moms who do the bare minimum, you have the moms who think the moms who go all out are stupid and you have the moms who think the moms who do the bare minimum are less than perfect! If a mom feels like she is doing what she wants to do and another mother feels the opposite---who is right? Neither and Both! The problem is not who is technically right or wrong the problem is how the people deal with it! Live and Let Live... I know! But it isnt that easy.


For instance... Santa.

I dont believe in Santa or telling kids about Santa or pretending Santa exist. Now I dont care that other parents do.. I dont understand it but I dont care. What I care about is this...a mom sending out an email reminding people that some kids still believe in Santa and if you and your kids dont please remind your children to not say anything! Okay I was totally mad! I mean I do remind my kids to not tell other kids there is no Santa but I am not going to skunk around making sure my kids never say a word or ruin the LIE for their parents! I didnt send out an email that stated could you please stop asking my children, "What will Santa bring you for Christmas this year, they know Santa isnt real..." I mean people seriously try to convince my children that there really is a Santa and mom and dad just dont...BELIEVE.

ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!

If you have to send out a letter to parents to remind children that are already enlightened about the TRUTH than seriously arent you really perpetuating a lie. And is it right to force my children to basically facilitate that! I think not.

If you want to tell your kids about Santa I am seriously fine about that--I might ask in the midst of conversation about why I dont do Santa ask you why you DO do Santa but I dont really seek out this conversation for obvious reasons! But dont tell me to remind my kids not to spill the beans! They are kids and maybe just maybe they dont understand why parents are lying either? Maybe they feel bad for the kids whose parents tell them there really is a Santa? Maybe my kids want to NOT lie, something they usually get in BIG TROUBLE for in this household!

Just a few thoughts from the other point of view...




3 comments:

Dawn E said...

Ahhh...the Santa dilemma. Dd knows to avoid the topic of discussion since so many children do believe. However, I remember knowing at seven, but playing along for my mom's sake. People think I'm a Scrooge for having told her the truth, but I take offense to the line of thinking that a child has to believe in Santa to experience the wonder of Christmas.

Jennifer said...

I have to say I agree with you. We don't do the Santa thing because I was traumatized by it as a child. My parents were either very good at lying to me, or I was just terribly naive, either way, it was not pleasant and took a long time to recover my trust.

BUT I also do think that its ironic in this day and age where four year olds are considered "tweens" that THIS is the thing people will send an email out about. As though this is the defining issue of childrens innocence. How about a "hey could your 10 year old please not wear that revealing outfit around my child" email, or "could you please remind your child to be respectful of adults, I don't want my child to know what a crass world we are living in yet" email. I'm pretty sure I could come up with an insanely long list given enough time....

Gretchen said...

I am always amazed at the people who say that they remember how their childhood was ruined when they relized, or found out from someone, that Santa wasn't real. Uh, THAT? ruined your childhood??? It must not have been a very good childhood to begin with, if you're putting ALL your faith and enjoyment in Santa!!!

I tell my kids not to lie about there not being a Santa, but I also tell them to not spoil it for other kids. I tell them, #1 importance: DON'T LIE. But, try to be creative for sensitivity's sake. I tell them to say, "Well, we don't do Santa at my house but every family is different." or "We don't talk about Santa at my house." But I also tell them that if someone out and out asks them if they believe, they are to tell the truth, consequences be damned.

If I had gotten that email, I probably would have responded, "Don't hold your breath." I mean, since the beginning of time there has always been a kid that didn't believe in Santa. And if the parents wanted to perpetuate the lie, they could always say, "Well they must not BELIEVE. Santa's only real if you BELIEVE." aahhh the magic of Christmas.... Now, where's Jesus again???