I do not often link back to other people's blogs for an entire post but today...I am!
I read the Keeper of the Home almost everyday. She is personally inspiring! I feel like so many of things I WANT to do she is already doing and might possibly help me to put those things into place in my own home life. I too want to not just be a mom, wife, school teacher...I want to be a keeper of the home. I feel those words line up directly with the Proverbs 31 women, whom I aspire to be! Trust when I say I am no where near that, but if there is a path than I am somewhere in the vicinity of the way to the path!
Anyhoo! I read her post today and it is part of a series about SIMPLICITY...
I am craving simplicity. I am almost desperate for it. There are many things I do in my life because I think I should or I think it is good. Well in in today's post she reminds me that...sometimes doing the good things dont leave room for the best thing. Hmmm.
I am not a quitter and I certainly DO NOT jump into situation lightly. I am just not that kind of person. I pray, think, talk it through, think some more...you get the picture. I am telling you that about myself so that you wont think I am just one of those women who start stuff and dont finish it. I detest those women--- not just the ones who quit something but the ones who do it again and again and again (without good reason). You know!
So to say the least I do not want to be one of those women so I usually finish whatever I start! Well I am doing the same this year, I have started with activities that are good or even great..but they are not the BEST for my family.
Needless to say I will not be doing this again! Well you know for a few months anyway!
I have at different points of my life thought I learned the lesson about saying NO, but I always seem to need to learn it again! I thought this year was different because I wasnt asked to participate in said activities, I volunteered---by myself after talking with dh and praying! So I thought I was doing the right thing.
No I want to make it clear that I am not burnt out. I did not take on too much! I just feel like I took on the wrong activities? If they were different activities that I felt were the best fit I might feel differently! But it is not burn out, it is a bad fit!
So after talking to dh, we have decided that in one area I would back down and do what I needed to do in order to keep my commitments and in another activity I would remain just as active and simply finish out the year. I am okay with this decision. I am good with that.
What remains to be seen though is when other opportunities arise... and they will, how do I know if they are good or the best???
Any thoughts????
3 comments:
I'm struggling right now because I backed off so far from outside commitments that I am basically doing, um....NOTHING that doesn't directly pertain to my family or home.
I felt very strongly the need to be home and make it a priority. I also want to be a keeper of my home and I think that necissatates being there. Of course, it also means that you can't be at home working on other stuff (been there too!).
Here are the priorities, in the order I see them: I am my husband's helper first. I am a mom as a part of being a wife (I help my husband by training the children while he is away), of course I am a parent, a mom...but it's all wrapped up in the wife role too. And thirdly, I am a homemaker.
Every other good thing I could do takes a severe backseat to those. I think some folks see it as selfish. If I do something outside, I try to make sure it's something our family can do together.
We hear a lot of talk about "using our gifts and talents." I have a problem with that when it takes away from our first roles.
OH I COULD GO ON AND ON!!!!
Well, I'm not sure how I feel about "sometimes doing good things don't leave room for the best things." because the best things are good, but if we adjust the rest of our lives in order to attain the best, when good will be perfectly acceptable, and our rearranged life suffers in order to get the best, then I'd say that the best isn't really best at all.
That's where I'm at. I'd love to have and do the best for my family. And, I do, when it counts. BUt, I think we have to balance out exactly how much needs to be the best, and how much can just be good, when it means that we can do more good things instead of just one best thing. FOr example: if our house is cleaned the BEST but that's all we did, I'm okay with having our house cleaned GOOD and also having time to go on a bike ride as a family, or read a book together, etc.
That's just how I am. But I've learned a lot about lowering my expectations in order to help my kids feel like valuable participants who contribute to the success of our household and our family. It's just how I think. But, to each his (or her) own.
I have to suggest the book again..."Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World." It talks a lot about what to do and how to decide and about not doing it all, but doing all that YOU are supposed to do. GREAT read and I think a perfect time for you to read it!
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