Friday, January 24, 2014

So just keeping it real...

I have mentioned multiple times in the past month that my house is a mess.  This is not a secret!  It is really something I want to work on.  For one, it bothers ME.  For another, I know that it is incredibly bad example (testimony even) to my girls and my guests.

Why does it bother me?  

Well besides the obvious that is is messy, I cant find things etc, there is the side of it making me feel like a failure! I feel like I should be able to have it together enough that this isnt a problem.  I mean I don't have toddlers anymore!  I do not work outside the home (although the work IN the home I do does take an enormous amount of time-- no bon bons for me!).  I see other peoples homes and while they might have cluttered I rarely feel they are as cluttered as mine.  Maybe this is just me?  I don't know but regardless of the reasoning I cant change how I feel right now, I feel discouraged and defeated.

(so stop blogging and go clean something!)

Hmmm.  Sounds easy enough doesnt it?  When I start a diet it is always frustrating to be going through the motions and it take SO long to see the evidence of it, I feel the same way with the house.  I can go clean "x" but unless I clean ALL OF IT, I am still only going to see mess!

I know it is not right thinking!  And even in my dieting I can say "it was a better choice even if it wasnt the best" or "I know I am doing the right thing even if I see no evidence of it".  I CAN and SHOULD do the same thing while attempting to control the chaos that is my home.  

I also (like dieting) need to recognize the aspects that are not completely under my control-- I cannot always control why my husband does, or even my children in that sense.  At least not until after the fact sometimes.. If they make a mess I can make them clean it up, but I cannot follow them around making SURE they dont mess anything up!!  Nor do I want to!

What I can control-- at least for the most part is:

My time and how I use it.
My energy and how I use it.
My priorities and how I implement them.
My finances and how I spend them.
My parenting and how I train them!

So a plan...

and then I stop because I have no plan or I have already tried 60 jillion plans and HAVE NO HOPE LEFT.  A sweet friend said the other day, "but you are so creative, just be creative!"

Okay but I HAVE!  So now what? Be creative some more?

I am at the end of my "I want to be creative rope, and jumping over to I just wanna see some results rope!"

I dont think it is crazy to want to see results-- maybe unrealistic?  

But I go back to I don't have toddlers, I "work" from home.  THIS should be doable.

So I squared up my shoulders and took a deep breath and GOT CREATIVE. Again.

I am going to use what the good Lord gave me. 


1.  I am going to once again tie the kids chore charts to a reward system... but no more stickers or marbles or moving of clothes pins...WIFI is where it is at.  I while ago I saw this in Facebook and then again on Pinterest.

The pinterest link and they give credit to here but I cant find it.. SO disclaimer it is someone eles's brilliant idea!

This is possibly NO different than No Electronics until you are done with "x", besides that it REQUIRES the moms check in!  They will have to come to me and let me know they are done to gain access.


2. Natural Consquences

That might not be the right word but it is as simple as you ate off the plate, you clean it.  This makes LESS work for whoever the dishwasher is.  Sounds simple but seriously it is what my kids are worst AT.

You are having your teen group over-- vacuume.

Your dog tore up a toy- pick it up.

You made brownies-- clean up what you made them with.

You filled up the trash can-- TAKE IT outside.

They are all jobs that someone does on a normal basis but if the people responsible for ADDING extra work just naturally cleaned up said work.. there would be less to do!  COMMON SENSE.

The adage about "you do chores because you are a part of this family" only goes so far.  Yes, do they all need to take responsibility as members of this family?  YES.  But, we cant simply use that as our singular reason for doing chores.

My reasoning... My oil needs to be changed.  I know that Dave knows how and I know that he physically CAN do it.  I know it will cost us less if he does it so he probably SHOULD.  BUT, truthfully his time spent with ME and the KIDS is more valuable than the savings of him changing the oil.  So we outsource it.

My JOB description as the home maker includes our home and its management-- and while the kids do live here and have a responsibility to pitch in.. A lot of the chores MY kids have are basically MY JOBS outsourced- because I don't always have time.  Is it worth it to ME to outsource those jobs?  YES.  But does the oil change place work for free?  NO, I need to be willing to PAY for my oursourced work.  It does factor in that a lot of the reason I need to outsource my responsibilities is because I am busy WITH the kids stuff, but that isnt a reason not to pay them. I have the choice to stop everything and stay home all the time and I choose not too.

So my new theory is while there are certain things the kids do as PART of the FAMILY!   Anything else needs to be paid (compensated) for.

Onto compensation:  which I think can look like different things.

Cold hard cash-----  Payment for services rendered.
Bartering---- If you finish cleaning "x" then I will time to take you to "x".
Physical Reward---  If we work hard to clean the house we will get to be out all day on Saturday doing "x" as a family.
Payment but in turn not actual cash---- Yes, Kaitlin you can take piano but I will need you to help off set the cost and you can do that by doing "x".  Otherwise I would need to pay another child meaning.  Then I am paying for HER lessons AND for outsourced work

So in conclusion... Another plan.  

But what else is there. 

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